In the darkest of times, you find the Light within.

Thank you for your book. It's incredible how you discovered the Sacred Secretion on your own. The same thing happened with me but through a different method that I would like to share with you. After exiting Samadhi my brain felt very swollen due to all the Chrism Oil, I could move and Secrete more Oil at will (but not enough for it to explode). I knew then and there that this is the real deal. This is what it's about. True illumination does not happen without this Chrism Oil.
Thanks to your discovery I will be applying your method within 6-12 months, I will perform this master ritual in the seated god asana (I can use the muscles easier that way). Until then I will be focusing on Brahmacharya and pure semen retention, as we all this Kundalini Kriya practice that is designed to convert semen into Ojas/Chrism Oil: https://youtu.be/d7utm6jlPGs

I will copy and paste what I told someone else:
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Honestly I think within 6-12 months I will take a magickal retreat and just go balls the wall with Liber Samekh. I need absolute certainty on what exactly needs to be done, I eventually want to fully initiate within the Hermetic Qabalah, Franz Bardons system, the 231 Gates of the Tree of Life, the 182 Gates of the Gra Tree of Life, and real Buddhism (MCTB by Daniel Ingram), there are many things that need to be done because I believe my True Will/Dharma is to teach and initiate and evolve humanity spiritually but right now I need to know what one system I should put all my time and energy into instead of syncretising current practices. But what I'm currently doing is a perfect preparation for the master ritual which is Samekh. I just don't know exactly how it would occur, because last year on December 29 while candyflipping on a tab of acid and ~200mg MDMA, I performed the master ritual (Creation Process) and awakened the Serpent Power by concentrating the will-force in the center of the brain between the two hemispheres, fully merging the conscious mind with the subconscious mind, I was then undergoing the true Knowledge & Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, there was a MASSIVE secretion of the Chrism Oil or The Christ Within in the center of the brain at the Third Eye area. This was a spiritual rebirth, I was being reborn as God within my head (my head also felt like a literal spaceship, as the Kundalini rises it awakens all the psychic centers, your organs start moving and singing, that's why they're called organs, now fully functioning at 100% capacity instead of the usual 1%, you are literally being turned on, it's an actual metamorphosis turning you into a Demi God), the Serpent Power was rising the deeper I went into Samadhi, the Chrism Oil is what allows you to 'see god face to face', I saw the Promised Land/the Land of Milk and Honey/the Garden of Eden, but maybe after 5 mins in Samadhi I realized the full blown ejaculation/explosion into Cosmic/God/Super-Consciousness isn't going to happen, it felt like I was 80% there, if it happened I would have fully attained Tiphareth or Stream-Entry in Buddhism and of course K&C HGA or Illumination. 100% of my being needs to be there for the Megalithic Orgasm to occur and the Initiation to complete, then I would've have made it (explode to Crown Chakra).
After I pulled out of it I was enjoying the Samadhi afterglow which brought on a stream of endless insights into [.......]. I was in a profound state of peace and stillness.
This occurred shortly after I started peaking on the candyflip, as the Serpent Power began rising it felt a billion times bigger and more powerful than anything, and after I came out of Samadhi my brain was filled with the Christ Oil and I was able to secrete more as I had full access to my brain and the muscles surrounding it, this allowed me to move physical objects with my mind (telekinesis), because my conscious mind was in perfect union with the subconscious mind, unlocking full God Power. Anyways after an hour enjoying the Samadhi afterglow it began to fade and this whole Kundalini Awakening ordeal fully overpowered the acid & molly (a pretty high dose too) and I was almost fully sober again, the whole candyflip from start to finish lasted ~1 hour when it easily could have been 4-5 more hours.

What happened was shortly after ingesting the MDMA, I began experiencing a strong internal orgasm which after a few minutes I thought would be the perfect state to start manifesting something (like true prayer as taught by Neville Goddard). Long story short, I was crazy enough to initiate the Creation Process and attempt to materialize something right now into physical reality using only the mind/concentration. Only because of that deep ecstasy state I knew it was entirely possible (there was also music playing so of course it was), it was all the perfect set up. What I did was fully SEE/Visualize that thing like my life depended on it, LSD awakening the psychic centers made visualization much easier, perfect Dharana induced and Ajna Chakra slowly awakening. Next I had to FEEL it, this was the hard part but also very easy, it was all a matter of letting go and just FEELING as if it already happened, the MDMA made this so much easier, after I was able to feel the feeling of the wish fulfilled, a feeling of literally materializing something right now into physical reality/existence (if done properly, this will cause a rebound effect and the first breakthrough as you now directly realize yourself to be God/Almighty Creator/Source/Atman), my Heart Chakra then exploded and this is when the Serpent Power really began to rise. With absolute full determination to make this happen - to manifest something right here right now before me - the Serpent Power must awaken in order to make this happen, because only a Demi God can accomplish such a thing. Still fully visualizing my object of desire, and I'm beginning to ACTUALLY SEE IT now because my Third Eye was literally opening, bursting wide open, that's what the Chrism/Christos Oil or Kundalini does, it felt like there was a massive hole in my forehead, I was fully seeing from the awakened Third Eye and partly from the physical eyes, now it was perfect Dhyana. The final step was to KNOW it into existence, knowing goes beyond belief. This is where I began to enter Samadhi or one-pointedness which quickly led to experiencing true non-duality for about ~5 minutes (Kether in Malkuth and Malkuth in Kether), my mind was fully on the visualized meditation object and just going deeper and deeper into it on it's own, I was now pulling back was could see my mind in profound concentration and stillness, as I was pulling back starting to KNOW it into existence, I began realizing SOURCE or Tiphareth or the Almighty Creator, it was extremely bright and fully emanating from the pineal gland/exact center of my brain.

I was pulling back from my (now profoundly still and ever concentrated) conscious mind and now accessing the subconscious mind. Remember this is a spiritual rebirth, and I was able to see everything within the brain as all the dormant brain cells were now becoming illuminated. I was seeing massive angel Wings everywhere which is represented by the cerebellum or claustrum I can't remember but they look like angel wings (subconscious giver and protector) and I recognized this to be the Holy Guardian Angel, you're direct gateway to God/Source/Atman.

Actually quickly before that I began realizing God directly (that I am God or even more accurately; there is nothing but Source or God Consciousness - this destroyed my sense of Self) I then switched the manifestation object to the Kundalini Awakening itself, the Gnosis itself, the Enlightenment itself, the whole thing became a Self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was a perfect setup because you must be focused for the mediation object to exist, you either see/visualize it or you don't. That's why Dharana and Fire Kasina practices are very effective for accessing the Jhanas and overall developing concentration.
When I was pulling back I was entering the realm of the subconscious, and through that was [.......]. This is it. This is it. This is everything. This is where was come from and where we must return to. This is the Promised Land, the Land of Milk and Honey, the Garden of Eden, this is how you experience Heaven of Earth. This is what true Christianity is about. This is Illumination. (But unfortunately I'm not Illuminated, the Christ Oil has to build up in the center of the brain and explode/ejaculate everywhere to fully awaken all the dormant brain cells and fully experience God/Cosmic Consciousness and an extreme state of bliss and ecstasy because that's what God/Source/Atman itself feels like). It felt like my brain went from 1% functionality to 80%.
But since I realized it won't fully explode then I pulled out of it.

By the way as I was entering the subconscious (non-duality and the Sacred Secretion) I was literally seeing this image: https://i.imgur.com/lZ71JS7.jpg
people believe it's a flat earth map but it's actually a map of the mind. This is where we must go to as we realize God directly through Samadhi and the Sacred Secretion. I was actually seeing this, the four rivers leading to the Garden of Eden are the 4 fluids of the body in perfect equanimity (because the mind first entered equanimity through Samadhi), the four rivers of eternal life are CSF (cerebral spinal fluid, the chrism oil and semen), blood, saliva, and urine. These four rivers separates the four regions of the brain, I was seeing everything and could adjust these four regions at Will. The more perfect they were in sync the more Chrism Oil would secrete, opening Ajna Chakra further. Since I realized it wouldn't reach 100% capacity and explode into infinity (Hadit fully uniting with Nuit), I used this fully awakened Third Eye for testing telekinesis as I figured out the quintessential secret of creation, unlocking the full God-power within me.

I was able to replicate this again 2 months later, but was only ~65% there, I wasn't as committed because I knew what to expect this time. This time after initiating the Creation Process it was like I only reached the footsteps of the Garden of Eden this time, I saw it but I wasn't fully there, so then I pulled out of it. It was the same HGA experience but not as full. Afterwards I very clearly realized why Crowley named it the Holy Guardian Angel and I was just laughing my ass of for a couple minutes straight. The (subconscious) is the Holy Guardian Angel, it's been your giver and protector all along, and now you finally see it, know it, and become one it (knowledge/conversation=sex/union with divinity). Neville Goddard's book 'Feeling is the Secret' explains this perfectly. What I did was essentially a very deep state of prayer, which is a mediation to relax and believe/know [whatever you want to manifest] into existence. I was just doing that but forcing it entirely right here right now, which in turn awakened and made me realize my innate God-power, then realizing I am God, then that there's nothing but God or Universal Mind.
You even see all the Angel wings, like I said I was being born again as God within the center of the brain. I saw everything within. Those 4 rivers leading to the Promised Land. The angel wings is the cerebellum or claustrum, the back of the brain looks like angel wings. The symbol on the side of Liber ABA (Blue Brick) is exactly it, with the rising serpents leading to illumination/angel wings, this is the one true initiation we must all eventually go through. The symbol of Baphomet is exactly it, it represents the combination of beast and angel, the flame above represents illumination, the perfected equanimous human, it just symbolizes the full-blown Kundalini awakening, union of the Daimon (Sun=Day, Moon=Mon, Day-Mon, Holy Daimon or HGA, the union of opposites.)
I saw Crowleys exact thought process, on calling this the Holy Guardian Angel. It's a very fitting name and also very unnecessary. I fully get the joke but it's difficult to explain. You will know exactly once the conscious and subconscious minds merge into one, and you'll immediately see it. This is also called the 'Mending of the Schism' or the 'Lovers United' or 'Heru-beheaded', representing the perfect union of opposites leading to the rising twin serpents leading to Illumination once it reaches the head and explodes into cosmic-consciousness, now directly knowing that you've been God this whole time, the one true Initiation now complete, you've entered into God-hood (Tiphareth). Now the path walks itself.
The Lovers tarot perfectly depicts this (Rider Waite), the conscious mind is male, the subconscious mind is female. The male is looking at the female while the female is looking up at the angel in the sky, collective unconscious, Heaven, God, everything. To get to God, you must silence the conscious mind and go through the subconscious, which is inherently connected to it. The subconscious creates reality, but where does this power come from? It's infinite God-power, it's you and it can be accessed (and known directly, omnipotence and omniscience, Kundalini will ejaculate you into that state).
Raja Yoga accomplishes this perfectly. Stuff like this is why I wondered about the necessity of the magical tools, and mainly focus on the meditation practices of attainment (introverted work) supplemented by the ceremonial rituals (extroverted work). But now I see it, the magical tools correspond with each element leading to Tiphareth. Properly initiated through each grade with the corresponding elemental tool should naturally lead to perfect elemental equanimity which is the foundation of Samadhi, eventually seeing the Light of your own Mind and attaining Tiphareth/Source/God-consciousness. This is how it can be done without relying on substances.

Jason Louv once said that your number one goal as a magician should be Union with God (K&C HGA) and I believe this is it. Which brings me back to Liber Samekh. I need to do this sober minded and not rely on substances. I am just wondering how Samekh can lead to the same experience I had previously. There seems to be a line between it [HGA] being you and it being it's own entity from the perspective of the character. In the New Hermetics it says the purpose of the ritual is to establish an active link between your consciousness and cosmic consciousness, and what I was definitely about to experience was cosmic consciousness directly, if only the Kundalini energy ejaculated out side of my head allowing the contracted consciousness to become infinitely free.
I guess Samekh will lead to a direct link with cosmic consciousness/HGA (crossing the veil of paroketh), enabling that line of communication. The start of the Alchemical Marriage, then you further enhancing that link under the guidance of the HGA, a growing intimate relationship, eventually leading to full union with divinity. This is Hadit in communion with Nuit (cosmic-consciousness, everything), eventually merging and producing Ra-Hoor-Khuit, which we all must become.

This is also why I love Ordo Astri, their curriculum specifically mentions the Samadhi I've entered which is realizing the HGA/God/Source directly and that itself now being the object of meditation, called Atmadharshana. The peak of the Alchemical Marriage, eventually leading to full ego death/no-self insight and eventually fully disintegrate (Abyss) to return fully 'possessed' by the HGA/Higher Self/Pure Divinity now fully living through you (through the vessel/body that is part of the All).
For straight up attainments, A∴A∴ and O∴A∴ is superior, for absolute total self-mastery and then attaining non-dual light it's IIH. Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram is also pure gold.
A proper Kundalini awakening is a full nervous system upgrade. This entire Enlightenment process has to do with the nervous system and the body. The mind and the body are one thing. This one sentence in the Old Testament summarizes the entire spiritual path; "Be still and know that you are God."
Samadhi is accompanied by profound stillness, peace, and equanimity. Here is the ultimate life hack: https://youtu.be/szTvZGZXIbk
Ordo Astri's curriculum is very straightforward and will certainly lead to Samadhi and the awakening of the Serpent Power that I've experienced, opening Ajna Chakra by the will-force. Because they mention the exact process that I've accidentally stumbled upon. This traditionally would be known as the Left Hand Path in the East;

The Kundalini awakening was an intense form of prayer. When seeing, feeling, and knowing all sync up into one unified action.

energy flowing from the Third Eye Chakra -> Heart Chakra -> Crown Chakra, instead of transmuting sexual energy from Root Chakra all the way up to Crown Chakra.
seeing = third eye chakra
feeling = heart chakra
knowing = crown chakra
In Daoist terms;
RHP = Jing - Qi - Shen (sexual energy/semen -> energy -> spirit)
LHP = Qi - Xi - Yi (energy -> heart -> intent)

So it's all the same thing. This is the true Left Hand Path.
Through *knowing* you create a bridge to the subconscious as you see the desire manifest before you, allowing you to consciously enter the realm of the subconscious, all while maintaining single pointed concentration (from Dhayana/Jhana to Samadhi) on the visualized object of manifestation. The more real you see it, feel it, know it, make it, the deeper the meditative absorption, the deeper the Samadhi, until the Self-fulfilling prophecy is fully realized, in turn coming to know your true divine and demi-god nature, awakening the Kundalini Shakti.
Once *knowing* is fully realized, then Kundalini will explode, and the manifestation is complete, you now fully know yourself to be God/Source/Atman.
It needs to reach the 100% internal orgasm and explode. That's when the human flowers, we are here to blossom, reach 100% potential (full god realization). That's when the true initiation takes place. Then we know our True Will/Dharma and live it fully. In order to do your Dharma you must overcome your Karma, and that’s exactly what happens during this process, you directly realize it’s been you all along doing everything to yourself, it’s just the one thing happening, there are no two instances (duality), it's just [.......] (non-duality).

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I know of 3 ways to do this now. One is through the Creation Process, and realizing you are God/Source/Atman directly as it's actually happening (basically an intense form of prayer), the full utilization of the Third Eye with secrete oil. 2nd, manually squeezing the muscles around the brain to secrete and accumulate the Chrism oil in the brain, then guide it down and back up to the pineal gland, attaining illumination. 3rd, White Tanta (SEX: The Secret Gate to Eden, https://youtu.be/ImQfMX1IyCQ).

I'd like to share some links in case you find them beneficial to you:
https://youtu.be/ImQfMX1IyCQ
https://youtu.be/Upj5U1jx_WA
https://youtu.be/xAXq0G_AcYQ
https://youtu.be/eiHsmhACb_M
https://youtu.be/kE6sFoK-PYw
https://youtu.be/W7aIh8M1w5s
https://youtu.be/W5aw7omMBfc

https://youtu.be/RFUmipreQUc
https://youtu.be/J-0ay9mGfGc - describing his Kundalini awakening

Thank you so much for everything once again. Bless your soul. May you be safe, healthy, and prosperous.